


Second Time Around

by why_me_why_not



Category: Supernatural
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-16 02:01:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29445996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/why_me_why_not/pseuds/why_me_why_not
Summary: She glances up when he comes in but won't meet his eyes, and he knows what she means to say is "Sam's lost his damn mind and I'm afraid of what he'll do if I leave."
Relationships: Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester
Kudos: 5





	Second Time Around

Sam pulls the covers tighter around him and soaks up the familiar feel and smell of his own bed before he realizes it's all _wrong_. That bed's been gone a long time. The last thing he remembers is falling asleep in some dingy motel room, Dean watching over him worriedly. He's almost afraid to open his eyes. He wonders briefly if he's dead, or dreaming. But he doesn't feel dead, with his heart pounding in his chest, hand asleep where he's been laying on it, and morning hardon pressing into the mattress, and everything feels too real to be a dream. Maybe some demon is fucking with him. After their run in with the Trickster, he knows that they can create an illusion that feels completely real.

Sam's not expecting the slap on his ass. 

"C'mon, Sam, up! You've got a class in half an hour!"

Sam's eyes fly open even as he's turning over in the bed. "Jess?"

"No, some other girl decided to break in our apartment and make sure you get to class on time." She's standing at the foot of the bed, staring at him with exasperation. It's a familiar sight, and one he didn't realize he'd ever miss until it was gone. "Now, get up!"

"Are you okay?" Jess comes to sit beside him on the bed, hand coming up to rest gently against his cheek. Her touch is cool and solid, and Sam wants to cry at the thought that this is all some fucked up dream reminding him of everything he's lost. 

"Maybe you should skip class. Between those headaches the past couple days and the restless night you had, you could probably use the sleep." She kisses his forehead and starts to move off the bed -- she's got her own classes to get to -- but he grabs her wrist and pulls her down to him. 

His kiss is fueled by nearly two years of hurt and anger and guilt, and he whispers "Stay" before he flips them over in the bed. Whatever's going on, Jess feels and smells and tastes real enough, and he's going to take advantage of it. 

After, when Jess is curled up against him and running her fingers in light circles on his chest, he tells her how much he loves her and how he hates to live without her. He's a little shocked when she laughs.

"Sam, I'm right here. Unless you're planning on leaving me, don't worry about living without me. You're stuck with me." She pushes herself up so she can kiss him, teasing his tongue with hers. "I'm going to get dressed and go get the mail, see if your LSAT results are there yet." 

"Wait, what? What day is it?"

"Monday," she answers distractedly, pulling on a pair of jeans. 

"No, I mean the date?" 

"October 26." She steals Sam's t-shirt off the top of the dresser, slips it on, and sits down on the edge of the bed again to put her shoes on. 

"2005?"

"Sam, are you sure you didn't fall out of bed and hit your head? Of course it's 2005." Jess is watching him closely, as if she's trying to figure out exactly what he's thinking. When he doesn't say anything, she says, "I'll be right back." 

Sam watches her walk out of the bedroom, just like he has a million times, but this time his heart freezes as soon as she's out of his sight. He's not ready for this dream to end. He puts on a pair of shorts and goes to stand in the doorway, watching the front door, counting the seconds until she comes back into the apartment. 

She looks surprised to see him standing there, but she doesn't say anything as she hands him his mail. A couple bills, some junk, and a postcard from New Orleans with no signature. Dean. Maybe Dean knows what's going on. Sam thinks about calling him, but decides against dragging Dean into his delusion. For now. 

Sam tosses the bills on top of his backpack, files the junk in the trashcan, and props the postcard up next to the picture of Mom and Dad. Jess is watching him with a worried expression and he needs to escape for a while to try and think this out, so he decides on a shower. He finds fresh scars, leftovers from the hunts he and Dean have been on lately, and he wonders what exactly is going on. If it had all been a dream -- Jess dying, the demon, Dad dying, Dean refusing to shoot him -- then why would he have the scars? Something is definitely strange. 

The apartment is quiet when he turns off the water and he immediately starts to panic. "Jess?" He wraps a towel around his waist and hopes she's still there. "Jessica?" 

He finds her in the kitchen, on the phone. 

"No, I think we're gonna stay in tonight. Sam's not feeling well." She glances up when he comes in but won't meet his eyes, and he knows what she means to say is "Sam's lost his damn mind and I'm afraid of what he'll do if I leave." 

Oh yeah, Sam has definitely lost it. 

Back in the bedroom, he dresses quickly and then reaches for his phone. He sees a number of names on his contact list that are from the past year, or the past year as he remembers it, at least. He calls Dean and gets his voicemail. 

"Hey, it's me. Sam. I... look, man, I seem to have fallen into the Twilight Zone or something and I really need your help. Please, Dean, it's important. Call me back."

By the next afternoon, he's called Dean at least half a dozen times and only gotten voicemail. He hopes Dean's just being an asshole and not answering. If something's happened to Dean in this alternate reality, he's not sure what his next move will be. He knows he's freaking Jessica out, not letting her out of his sight, being more affectionate than usual, but he can't help it. He's afraid he's going to wake up at any moment and find this all gone, but with each passing hour he's thinking that maybe his memories of the last two years were on huge vision. 

They're supposed to go to dinner with Jessica's parents, but Sam thinks he can't protect Jess in a restaurant, or even at her parent's house. Jess doesn't understand, but she tries. She offers to call and reschedule, but Sam has this feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach that something bad is going to happen and he wants her to be with her parents tonight, just in case. He offers to cook. 

Sam loves to cook, not in some fancy impress-women way, but good, old-fashioned comfort meals that he missed out on most of the time growing up. Jess helps him in the kitchen, and he can forget everything else for a while while they laugh and joke and throw vegetables at one another. They're just sitting down at the table when someone pounds on the door. Jess is closest, so she goes to answer it despite Sam's warning not to. 

"Dean."

When Sam sees his brother standing in the doorway, he doesn't know whether to be relieved that what he remembers apparently hasn't actually happened, or worried about his sanity. He wants to hug Dean, but this is the Dean he's been estranged from, not the one who's been fighting beside him and worrying about him and protecting him. And he doesn't want to cause a scene in front of the Moores, so he takes a deep breath and settles for introducing everyone and setting an extra place at the table.

Dean looks a bit disconcerted at first, but he's always been an excellent actor. It's not long before he's charmed Mrs. Moore into thinking he's a perfect gentleman and engaged Mr. Moore in a discussion about classic cars. Sam sees the questions in Jess' eyes and hopes they'll be able to sort this out later. Later ends up being several hours, but finally the Moores have gone home and Jess has gone to bed. Dean corners Sam in the kitchen. 

"What's going on, Sam? From the way you were blowing up my phone, I thought you were in serious trouble. I don't hear from you for _two years_ and then you call me because you want me to save you from your future in-laws?" 

"That's not why I called, Dean. And I don't need you to save me from the Moores. At least I know them. You were going to ask Cassie to marry her and had barely met her parents." 

"I... what? How do you know about Cassie?" 

"Twilight Zone shit, that's what I'm trying to tell you! I... I don't know what's going on, but I think I'm losing it, man. I don't even know where to start. It's like... like I lived this before. I've lived beyond this actually, and come back to this point for some reason."

"What kind of drugs are you on, college boy?"

"None! Seriously, Dean, you have to help me." 

It takes half the night and a whole bottle of Jack from the trunk of the Impala, but Sam gives his brother a condensed version of events as he remembers them. Dean is skeptical, but he can't completely discount the story, not with everything they see everyday. He does, of course, check to make sure that Sam's not currently possessed.

They decide to test to see if Sam's memory is real. The first step is the woman in white in Jericho. Sam refuses to leave Jessica, but Dean can't go alone. The woman in white won't pick him up because he has no one to be unfaithful to. Sam finally gives in and tells Jess an abbreviated version of the Winchester Family Business and talks her into going to Jericho with him and Dean. She agrees, as long as they will be back before Sam's interview on Monday. 

Sam had gotten used to riding in the Impala with Jess' ghost in the backseat. Having her really sitting behind him feels strange. When Sam picks up the box of cassettes from under the front seat, Dean says "House rules, driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole." It's just what Sam expected and it unnerves him a little. When Jess reaches for the box, Dean lets her pick a tape, and the two of them sing along with the radio, like they're on a road trip for the fun of it. Sam rolls his eyes and leans against the window to sleep for the first time in days; he finally feels safe closing his eyes, and he knows Dean will protect Jess if he needs to. 

When they get to Jericho, there's some argument over the car. Sam wants to drive the Impala -- it's the quickest and easiest way to handle things -- but Dean wants him to steal a car. He says Sam must've been dreaming if he thought Dean let him drive his baby. After Sam finally wrangles the keys away from Dean, it's a simple matter to take care of Constance. Sam picks her up and drives her home, never slowing down as he plows into the old farmhouse. Watching as the ghosts of the Welch children appear and drag their mother off is just as freaky as it was the first time, but Sam doesn't have time to think about it because suddenly Jess is there, fussing over him to make sure he's okay and a little hysterical about seeing a real ghost for the first time. 

There is still the problem of retrieving Dad's journal, though, which means breaking into the police station since Dean's already pissed off the local law enforcement. But the journal is there, just as Sam said it would be, and Dean's starting to believe a little more in Sam's story.

On the way back to Palo Alto, Jess listens raptly while Sam and Dean -- mostly Dean -- tell stories about some of their past hunts. Sam had never planned on telling her, but he would have expected a different reaction if he had. He's glad he was wrong. 

It's late when they get home, and Sam and Dean keep Jess between them as they check to be sure the house is secure and their protections are in place. Even then, Sam lays on the bed next to Jess but doesn't sleep, and Dean sits in a chair by the window and watches. 

When morning comes, Sam's thinking maybe he was being silly, maybe it was a dream and the woman in white was a coincidence. He lets Jess and Dean talk him into going to his internship interview, but as he's getting dressed, Jess comes in the room. Her eyes are devoid of expression but there are tears streaming down her face. When Sam finally discerns what's wrong, it floors him. Her parents have been killed in a fire. 

Sam thinks maybe it's his fault; that he was protecting Jess so the demon went after her parents, but there's no way to be sure. Dean checks out the Moore's house, where the fire seemed to be contained to just the bedroom, but he doesn't confirm or deny anything. He believes Dad will know the answers, and he wants Sam and Jessica to come with him on the Hunt for John Winchester. Unfortunately, Sam doesn't know where Dad is, but he does know that it'll be months before they hear from him. In the meantime, though, there are people they can save and maybe they can get there in time to keep some of the deaths he's seen from occurring. Besides, Jess needs some time away.

They load up the Impala and head for Colorado. When they stop for the night, Sam finds the number in his phone that says Haley Collins. He tries to convince her not to let Tom go camping at Blackwater Ridge. He knows he sounds like a psycho, but he hopes she listens anyway. At least she doesn't hang up on him. 

Dean and Sam settle Jess in a nearby hotel and head for the ridge. Since they know what they're up against, and Sam knows exactly how to find the Wendigo's lair, they make quick work of the bastard. Sam doesn't mention the empty peanut M&M bag they find in the cave. 

On the way back to town, Sam thinks that maybe this is why he's back here, reliving this. He knows where they're going, what they're up against. They can save time and save lives, and somewhere along the way they can get their hands on the colt and kill the demon behind all this. He's thinking about what their next move should be when they near the hotel and see flashing lights. Sam's out of the car and running before Dean even stops. Through the blur of people, he spots Jessica sitting in the back of an ambulance, wrapped in a blanket and covered in blood. When he reaches her, she abandons the blanket to be wrapped in Sam, and she's trying to talk through her tears but he can't make out more than his name so he just holds her tighter and lets her cry.

"She asleep?" 

Sam nods and leans up against the Impala beside his brother. "Maybe I should have made her stay with Becky, or one of our other friends. She shouldn't have to see these kinds of things."

"Sam, if your dream or vision or whatever is right, then this demon could still be making her a target as a way to get to you. I get that you want to protect her. Do you want me to drop you too back in California? I can do this myself, y'know. I'm a big boy now." He flashy a cheesy grin at Sam and they both laugh. 

"No, I feel like we need to be here, but still... I don't know Dean. I mean, I did what I thought was right, calling Haley and keeping Tom and his friends from going on that camping trip, and three people's lives were saved because of it. But then Haley wrecks her car right here in front of the motel and Jess tries to help them. Did you find out what happened?"

"The paramedics said it was really bizarre, the way the accident happened. They said the car flipped and all three of them -- Haley, Tommy, and Ben -- were pretty much hanging from their seatbelts and trapped. Jessica and the man from the front desk both heard the crash and came running out, and they managed to free Tommy, but the other two... One of them said that the car had caught fire, flames everywhere, and they had to drag Jessica away because she wouldn't let go of Haley's hand."

Sam kicks at the gravel under his feet and sighs. He's making different choices, and he's saving people, but people are still dying. And this time, instead of losing Jess, he's putting her through the pain of losing others. He's starting to think that maybe this is his hell.


End file.
